You moved to a new city. Maybe for work, for a relationship, for adventure. You expected excitement. Instead, you're lonely, disconnected, wondering if you made a mistake.
This is common. Moving is ranked among the most stressful life events. For some people, that stress tips into something more: relocation depression.
Tracking helps you see whether you're adjusting or stuck.
Why moving is so hard
A move disrupts almost everything:
- Social connections. You left your friends, family, and community behind.
- Routine. Everything familiar is gone: your coffee shop, your gym, your commute.
- Identity. You were someone in your old city. Here, no one knows you.
- Comfort. Home doesn't feel like home yet.
- Stress. The logistics of moving are exhausting on their own.
Even moves you wanted and planned can trigger depression. The excitement of "new" collides with the grief of "gone."
What relocation depression looks like
Common symptoms:
- Persistent sadness or tearfulness
- Intense homesickness
- Loneliness, even in crowds
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability or mood swings
- Fatigue and low motivation
- Sleep problems
- Loss of interest in exploring or settling in
- Physical symptoms (headaches, stomach problems)
These symptoms can appear immediately after the move or develop weeks or months later as the novelty wears off.
Normal adjustment vs. depression
Normal adjustment:
- Homesickness that comes in waves
- Gradual improvement as you settle in
- Good days and bad days
- Energy to unpack, explore, meet people
- Symptoms mostly tied to specific triggers (missing home, failed social attempts)
Relocation depression:
- Persistent low mood that doesn't lift
- Symptoms not improving after several weeks
- Isolation and withdrawal
- Loss of motivation to make the new place work
- Hopelessness about the move ever feeling right
The key is trajectory. Adjustment has movement; it gets easier. Depression gets stuck.
How long adjustment takes
Most people need 6-12 months to fully adjust to a new city. The first few months are typically the hardest.
Rough timeline:
- Month 1: Logistics, disorientation, excitement mixed with overwhelm
- Months 2-3: Novelty fades, loneliness often peaks, homesickness intensifies
- Months 4-6: Routines forming, possible social connections, gradual stabilization
- Months 6-12: Starting to feel at home, social network developing, comfort increasing
This timeline varies enormously. Some people click quickly. Others struggle for over a year.
What to track
Use standard mental health assessments:
- PHQ-9: Depression symptoms
- GAD-7: Anxiety symptoms
- DASS-21: All three: depression, anxiety, stress
Also track:
- Loneliness level (1-10)
- Social contact (how many meaningful interactions this week?)
- Connection to the new place (does it feel like home yet?)
- Contact with old friends/family
Track weekly for the first 3 months, then monthly.
What your data reveals
Healthy adjustment: Scores are elevated early but gradually decline. Month 1 was hard (PHQ-9 = 12). Month 3 is better (PHQ-9 = 7). Loneliness decreases as you meet people.
Stuck pattern: Scores plateau. Month 1 you were at 11, month 3 you're still at 11. You're not getting worse, but you're not improving either.
Worsening pattern: Scores climb. The longer you're there, the worse you feel. Isolation is increasing. This suggests depression developing.
Social correlation: Look for relationships between social contact and mood. Weeks you made an effort to connect: how did scores look? This helps identify what actually helps.
The loneliness trap
Loneliness is the biggest risk factor for relocation depression. In your old city, you had people. Here, you have to start from scratch.
And loneliness is self-reinforcing. When you're lonely, you feel less motivated to reach out. Less reaching out means fewer connections. Fewer connections means more loneliness.
Track your social activity separately from your mood. If loneliness scores are climbing while social efforts are dropping, you know where to intervene.
What helps
Give it time. You can't rush belonging. Six months is a realistic minimum for a new city to feel like home.
Maintain old connections. Video calls with old friends aren't a substitute for in-person community, but they provide continuity while you build new relationships.
Create routine quickly. Find a coffee shop, a gym, a grocery store. Familiarity in small things helps.
Pursue social opportunities. Classes, clubs, meetups, volunteering: anything that puts you around the same people repeatedly. Proximity breeds friendship.
Explore intentionally. Walking around helps the city feel less foreign. Become a local somewhere.
Be patient with yourself. Adjustment takes time. Beating yourself up for not loving it yet makes everything harder.
Risk factors for relocation depression
Some situations make adjustment harder:
- Moving alone (no partner, no friends at destination)
- Unwanted move (job forced it, relationship demanded it)
- Leaving a strong community behind
- Moving to a culturally different place
- Prior history of depression
- Introverted personality (making new friends takes more effort)
- Remote work (fewer built-in social opportunities)
If multiple factors apply, tracking is especially important, and so is proactive effort on the social front.
When to get help
Consider professional support if:
- Symptoms aren't improving after 3+ months
- PHQ-9 stays above 10
- You've stopped trying to make the move work
- Isolation is complete (no local social contact)
- You're having thoughts of self-harm
- Depression is interfering with work or basic functioning
Therapy, including online therapy, can help during this transition. A therapist can provide strategies for managing the adjustment, processing grief about what you left, and building a life in the new place.
The reverse consideration
Sometimes the answer is that the move was wrong. Not every relocation works out. If you've given it genuine time and effort, and you're still miserable, returning home or trying somewhere else is a legitimate option.
Tracking data helps with this decision. If scores are climbing despite your best efforts at adjustment, that's meaningful information. It doesn't necessarily mean you should leave, but it's data to factor in.
Getting started
1. Baseline before or just after the move. Take the PHQ-9 or DASS-21.
2. Track weekly for the first 3 months.
3. Note social contact. How many days did you interact meaningfully with someone?
4. Review monthly. Is the trend improving? What correlates with better weeks?
5. Give it 6 months before major decisions. That's the minimum for fair assessment.
6. Get help if stuck. If 3 months pass without improvement, talk to someone.
Moving is hard. Adjusting takes longer than people expect. But adjusting and depressed aren't the same thing. Tracking shows you which you're experiencing, and when it's time to try something different.
Track your adjustment
Survey Doctor helps you monitor your mental health through major transitions like moving. Take the PHQ-9 or DASS-21 weekly and watch your adjustment trajectory. Start tracking now.