After a breakup, check your sleep, mood, daily tasks and time with friends every week or two. Comparing several checks shows whether things are getting easier, staying the same or getting harder.
Is it normal to feel this bad after a breakup?
Yes. A breakup can bring sadness, anger, relief, worry, poor sleep, appetite changes and repeated thoughts about the relationship. These reactions can be intense without meaning you have a mental health condition.
Research describes averages, not a timetable for you. In a study of 156 young adults who went through one breakup, average depression symptoms rose around the breakup. They returned to their earlier level within three months. That average is not a deadline for every age, relationship or separation.
Another study followed 87 young women for 30 weeks after a breakup. It found four patterns: resilience, faster recovery, slower recovery and continuing distress. Someone else's course does not define yours.
What should I track?
Track a few signals that can guide what you do next, rather than every feeling. Useful choices are sleep and appetite, and your ability to work, study, care for others and manage daily tasks. You might also note time spent replaying the breakup, contact with supportive people, and any alcohol or other substance use. Moments of interest, calm or enjoyment are worth noting too.
Use the same simple scale each time. A short note can explain a jump that the number cannot. It may show that a court date, move, illness or unexpected contact with your ex happened in that stretch.
A breakup may come with a move, money problems, a job change or a legal process. Record those events too, rather than putting every symptom down to the breakup. If a marriage is ending, tracking mental health through divorce covers legal and household changes. If someone died, tracking grief after losing someone explains the separate criteria for prolonged grief disorder.
Tracking is optional. Cut back or stop if checking makes you dwell on the breakup more or pushes you to compare constantly. Keep it only while it helps you decide something.
Should I take a depression or anxiety questionnaire?
You can, if you want a standard measure alongside your notes. The PHQ-9 asks about depression symptoms over the past two weeks. The GAD-7 asks about anxiety symptoms over the same period. If you use either one, wait a full two weeks before repeating it.
The PHQ-9 score guide and GAD-7 score guide explain the score bands. A result is not a diagnosis, and it does not show that the breakup caused your symptoms. Health conditions, medicine side effects, earlier symptoms, sleep loss and other events may contribute.
How do I read the trend?
Every two weeks, look at what changed in your score or notes, and what was happening at the time. Ask which parts of daily life became easier or harder. Then ask whether the record points to a conversation or a practical next step.
Read any score beside your notes. A lower score does not mean you must feel finished grieving. A higher score does not prove that your recovery has failed.
A steady score can mean several things. It may reflect continuing distress or a hard stretch of events. The questionnaire may also miss the change you care about. A doctor or therapist can help you interpret it when daily life stays hard.
When should I talk to someone?
Talk with a doctor or therapist if symptoms last or get worse across several checks. The same goes if work, school, hygiene, meals or other basic tasks are becoming hard. Reach out too if you are withdrawing from nearly everyone or your alcohol or other substance use is increasing.
Thoughts about the breakup that fill much of your day are another reason to talk to someone. So is being unsure whether grief, depression, anxiety or another problem fits. The National Institute of Mental Health advises contacting a provider when depression symptoms persist or do not go away. A provider can assess the full pattern and consider medical as well as emotional causes.
Seek immediate support for thoughts of suicide or self-harm.
If you need help now. In the US, Call 988 or text 988. Call 911 if you are in immediate danger. Outside the US, contact your local emergency number or find support in your country.
Bring your notes and any scores to the appointment. They show what changed, when it changed and what else was happening at the time.